Tuesday, September 14, 2010


The thing about college is that the more you talk about it, the more hopeless it seems. When people ask me about college, I give the same, boring, default answers because I don't know what to do with my life.

I don't mean getting in. I'm not the least bit worried about getting into college. I know that I'll be accepted somewhere. The stressful part comes with trying to make the "right" choices. There seems to be no college that simultaneously is
a) a college I like
b) a college my parents like
c) a college that does not devour life savings $$$

There are plenty of colleges I like, plenty my parents like, and plenty that are cheap... but not all three. College stops becoming a decision of what I want to do and starts becoming a decision of what should I do. Whether or not I should selfishly pursue an expensive college faraway or go to the local college and leave money for my brother's college fund. Whether or not to base a judgment on preference of rationality. Feeling or reason.

I know that there are scholarships, grants, etc. So many alternatives to making dreams come true and what not! No matter what I choose, I will be unhappy in some way... so I might as well pick whatever makes me the least unhappy. Right?

My indecisiveness says NO. You are only allowed to STRESS OUT over what you should do until you CRY like a baby.

I know that even now a lot of college kids look back on their choices and wonder if they made the right decision. One of my friends has changed her major about four times already. Practicality tells me to play it safe by majoring in business, but just because it's a safe choice doesn't mean I'll be satisfied with it for the rest of my life. My mom would be delighted to know I'm following her footsteps, but I never intended to follow after anyone.

I just want to be me in me, trying to piece together my life in a way that works. So, no. I probably won't stop stressing out. Ever. Ten years down the road I'll be wondering if I did the right thing. But... instead of just staring at the road blocks, I'm going to punch them aside. I have only ever believed that I had to fight my way through life anyway, so fight I shall!

PS. I've been meaning to comment on everyone's posts, but I got lazy last week >_O I'll try to play catch up this week!

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